Billy Zane vs Midgets

Billy Zane is in court today for pointing at and ridiculing a midget who was try to park his car at the local Bed Bath and Beyond. This instigated the Little People of America’s petition for a ban on media’s usage of the word midget. Thanks alot Billy Zane, once again your disrepect has cost us a word from the english language, now all we can say is M-word. You suck billy zane.

Billy Zane at the Drive-Thru

A disgruntled drive-thru employee at a local fast food franchise punched Billy Zane because Billy Zane constantly asked for his meals “to-go”.

Strobe Light

Billy Zane turned on your strobe light while your epileptic girlfriend was giving you a birthday blowjob.

Billy Zane Thwarted

Billy Zane was thwarted from molesting a sleeping woman. By a kitten no less. Billy Zane’s groping fingers are powerless against kittens!! So stock up while supplies last

Billy Zane Plays Sega

Nobody wants to play Sega with Harrison Ford, because they know Billy Zane would crash the party. So now Harrison Ford plays Atari by himself in his mom’s basement.

Billy Zane’s Internet

Billy Zane doesn’t use the internet, because the internet was created in 1376 by Thomas Edison for the soul purpose of displaying pictures of puppies, and Billy Zane hates puppies.

Billy Zane hates Cheerleaders

Today Billy Zane crammed 26 teenage cheerleaders into an elevator at a University of Texas residence. To his dismay they were rescued with only one girl passing out.  Curious, but in poor form Billy Zane.

Pornography

It was Billy Zane’s idea to make the previews for the pay porno sites, to be so damn short that it was impossible to even get off, and then make you wait forever as you refresh the damn page so it can play again.

The Hoff

Billy Zane is the only guy that can Hassle the Hoff, because David Hasselhoff knows that he is better than Billy Zane.

Harrison Ford

Billy Zane is the mastermind behind Hollywood constantly stealing Harrison Ford’s family. His thirst for stealing things most precious to Harrison Ford still unquenched, he then stole Harrison Ford’s precious collection of a dozen baby pandas.

Harrison Ford's Baby Pandas Collection