Billy Zane has officially jumped on the Celebrity Gone Green bandwagon but only so that people will no longer call him gay when he drives around in his Prius.
September 21, 2009
Billy Zane Reads
Billy Zane tried to revive his career by going to the bookstore, and asking for a self-help book called “How I Got My Sexy Back” by Justin Timberlake.
August 12, 2009
Billy Zane’s Latest Job
Billy Zane’s career has sunk so low that the only acting gig he could get was as a mall Santa at the “Market” Strip Mall in San Antonio. But he showed up 4 months early, dressed up as Santa and spent time scaring small children. Why? Because whenever a kid came up to him, he told them that Santa was dead and he was “The Phantom” filling in. Only Billy Zane can ruin Christmas in August.
August 11, 2009
Billy Zane’s Beard
In a lame attempt to be as cool as Chuck Norris, Billy Zane tried to grow a beard. The result was a mustache.
August 10, 2009
Billy Zane Kills Oldest Lady
The worlds oldest lady died today at the age of 130, by slipping in her bathtub. It was caused by Billy Zane rubbing it down with vaseline. Why? Because Billy Zane hates anything that takes attention away from his long dead career.
August 5, 2009
JCVD
Billy Zane wrote a series of angry letters out of jealousy to Jean-Claude VanDamme, after learning that it is possible to make a decent movie about a failed acting career.
July 28, 2009
Billy Zane Sucks – A Haiku
billy zane sucks balls
giant german dyson balls
sweet autumn leaves fall
July 6, 2009
Billy Zane vs Midgets
Billy Zane is in court today for pointing at and ridiculing a midget who was try to park his car at the local Bed Bath and Beyond. This instigated the Little People of America’s petition for a ban on media’s usage of the word midget. Thanks alot Billy Zane, once again your disrepect has cost us a word from the english language, now all we can say is M-word. You suck billy zane.
June 6, 2009
Billy Zane’s Cult
Billy Zane started GATE — the Global Alliance for Transformational Entertainment, a newly formed outfit of producers and artists with a shared enthusiasm for New Age uplift. Billy Zane always wanted to start a GATEd community, so he could feel special, exclude minorities, and feed off of the tears of new born babies.
May 25, 2009
Billy Zane has Twitter
News Update: Billy Zane has Twitter. Now you can be kept up to date on the child molestation charges, court dates, and movie roles that he’s not getting.
