July 22, 2008
This past week, Billy Zane participated in a structured debate with members of a Grade 4 class in LA. Here’s a letter of complaint that one of the 9 year old students wrote regarding Billy Zane’s Conduct:
Dear Billy Zane’s agent,
To draw a picture of what we conceive of under the word “thyroparathyroidectomize”, we need to begin with a frank acknowledgment of the basic humanness of each of us. And we must acknowledge that none of what Mr. Billy Zane says carries any weight. What follows is a set of observations I have made about sex-crazed casuists.
He ignores the most basic ground rule of debate. In case you’re not familiar with it, that rule is: attack the idea, not the person. Looking at it on the bright side, he sometimes puts himself in charge of destroying our moral fiber. At other times, one of his peons is deputed for the job. In either case, the justification Billy Zane gave for turning big-mouths loose against us good citizens was one of the most spiteful justifications I’ve ever heard. It was so spiteful, in fact, that I will not repeat it here. Even without hearing the details you can still see my point quite clearly: Billy Zane does not merely reduce human beings and many other living organisms to engineered products and mere cogs in the social machine. He does so consciously, deliberately, willfully, and methodically. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Sincerely,
Timmy (Mrs. O’Donovan’s Grade 4 Class)
Conclusion? Billy Zane sucks.
July 13, 2008
Billy Zane is the mastermind behind Hollywood constantly stealing Harrison Ford’s family. His thirst for stealing things most precious to Harrison Ford still unquenched, he then stole Harrison Ford’s precious collection of a dozen baby pandas.
Harrison Ford's Baby Pandas Collection
July 10, 2008
Billy Zane ruined M. Night Shyamalan’s movie The Happening by suggesting that the twist for Shyamalan’s ending to be that there was NO twist.
Dick move Billy Zane.
July 7, 2008
This site was inactive for a while because BillyZane threatened to kick our butts. We spent the whole time laughing, and we just finally stopped long enough to write this. Billy Zane is in his corner crying, because there’s nothing he can do. Not even if he hired all the Jews in Jewtown Jew-S.A. which has the smartest Jews in the Jew-niverse.
June 18, 2008
Billy Zane stole my pants, because he wants everyone to know he’s a bigger dick than my dick.
June 5, 2008
Billy Zane makes you work overtime so he can go to your house and have sex with your pets. If you don’t have pets thats even worse, he inappropriately masturbates into your shampoo bottles, and laughs at you the next day at the watercooler.
Damn you Billy Zane for making my hair so shiny and dandruff free.
May 30, 2008
There once was a boy named Billy
All the girls though he was silly
He would drink lots of Beck’s
And fail to have sex
Then go home and play with his willy.
May 26, 2008
Just more proof of how much a dick Billy Zane is.
May 18, 2008
Recently a new strain of herpes was discovered and was appropriately named after Billy Zane. Its called Zanekroiditis, or BZ for short. The worst part of this disease is that you don’t even have to have sex to catch it. You can catch it just by simply being around Billy Zane. So i suggest you keep your distance a for throwing rocks at Billy Zane as a safe 10 metre radius, for multiple reasons.
1) Billy Zane can’t see that far
2) Zanekroiditis dissipates in the air at 7 metres
3) Your far enough away that nobody would ever think to associate you with Billy Zane.
